The start.....
Hi ,
I’m Jordi 24 years old and live in Holland.
I started rapping when I was 12. It wasen’t good by any means. But.. Hiphop flowed through my veins. I got inspired by artist like: Eminem, Tupac B.I.G, and many more….
My youth
This wasn’t a good time for me. I’ll explain. I’m disabled cause I had a lack of oxygen during my birth. Which led to brain damage. Result? Couldn’t walk. And suffer from spastic arms and legs. (I’m lucky though, got a light form.)
Fast forward a couple years, at school people called my dumb, crazy and more. Why? Because I always told everyone I was going to be a rapper when I was older. Guess what? All they did was laugh. Because “I couldn’t be a famous rapper.” Now, I never said that was going to happen. I just said I’m going to be noticed because I’m unique.
Lessons
Because of my disability I went to a special school. Were they are specialized in children with disability. You would say that because of this they would be able to educate you to your full potential right?
Well… Lets just say it was a mixed bag at best. Because I was at a lower tier of education I often was in classes with people that had much less intelligence then me because of their disabilities . Now that’s not the problem. But how are you supposed to learn when you do stuff that doesn’t challenge or develop your brain?
A small example my main language is Dutch. And there were English classes. However, when I asked if I could do these classes to the answer was: “No, you’re not smart enough. Now I really wanted it because I wanted to use it to rap and and speak English fluently. So I started practicing at home and began teaching myself English.
Now, because I was fed up with not being educated properly I became really quiet and got the name “strange kid”. Because I often just wanted to be alone.
Lucky, a few teachers did see the potential and one of the teachers said: “Jordi I heard you wanted to learn English correct?” I simply replied with “yes”. After I did a test and passed it easily. The teacher went to the head of the school an complained about why I couldn’t follow these lessons.
Long story short I ended up being allowed to follow the class and ended with 9:)
The last couple years of school
After these events I was allowed to get into a higher tier of education and got certificates for a lot of stuff including: Dutch, English, IT, Reception work, and many more things. Still there were a lot of teachers that didn’t see my potential. Lucky, these last years I mostly had teachers that did see it.
The last thing I achieved there was a MBO1 diploma in collaboration with a regular school. Now forgive me, but I don’t know what the name in English is. It’s basically when you start to decide what you’re going to do. And then there are tiers. 1 you usually get at 16 somewhere. I was 18 at the time. So a little late but it shows that there’s more to me then they thought! Now I wanted to do MBO2 but they didn’t allow me to cause school feared it was too difficult. Definitely was sad about that at the time. Because, who knows where I would’ve ended up? But on the other hand, I was able to fully focus on music after.
Do you blame it all on them?
No, my dad had cancer during that time. I couldn’t talk about it. And I was afraid he might die. Plus, I was upset with how they only complained about me not getting good results.
While I do think they should have tried to help me, if I don’t say I have a problem some just won’t notice. So yes, that’s where I’m to blame.
Suicide
Throughout my life I struggled with thoughts of committing suicide. I didn’t feel like I was needed in this world or that I had a purpose. I thought: “If people don’t see me for who I am and don’t support what I’m doing, what’s the point? This is where rap also played a crucial part. If it wasn’t for rap and the few that believed in me there’s a chance I would’ve been dead.
Rap development
I kept rapping during that time it was a way to release the stress and pain I felt. It wasn’t skillful yet, but I did discover I liked storytelling songs, hard hitters, and the laid back stuff. So kept developing my style spitting rhymes in a crappy dekstop mic.
Later stages
Eventually got my first USB mic the Samson C01U. That was a step up from what I used before. Created many tracks with that mic. The quality became a lot better because I got into mixing my tracks. Someone at the day activity where I was for a while taught me the basics and what it could do…. A world opened up for me.
In fact, at the day activity where I was I was doing work that didn’t develop me at all. Until I noticed someone making music in a small room. I was like: “Should I enter and see what he’s up to?” These thoughts kept going for a couple days. Eventually, I did enter the room. We talked a bit, than I told him I really wanted to become good at rapping, writing, producing, and everything music related.
We started working on a track and he was like: “if you practice, you can sing too. You got the skill. You have a natural gift of translating what you hear in your head into notes and sing them. You just need to keep working on confidence so your words from your lyrics translate well. I believe in you.” These words and working with him flipped a switch in my mind. I knew then I had what it took to become a artist with his own style. And that I needed to use positivity as fuel and negativity to vent.
In fact, shortly after I created my first album: “Music Saved Me” He produced “Let Me Live My Life and “My Fallen Angel.” This where our friendship and respect from one musician to another began.
The Pleasure and Pain EP
This is the second project I released on all streaming platforms. With this EP I wanted to show the world my troubles with life. As well s giving my vision on society. Together with my struggles with this rap game and personal issues I dealt with. Here to you do see a huge jump in quality as I upgraded my mic to a Rode NT1A. And the fact that my mixing got better helps too.
Now & the future
I also released a single “Pieces That Were Missing this year. The reason I tell you this is because it was my first fully self produced track. I still like to use instrumentals from other producers, but I felt like it was time to learn to create instrumentals as well.
Why? Firstly if I require a certain mood / style I can’t always find what I need when going through my stash of instrumentals. And then, it’s crucial to know how to make a beat as I don’t have the funds to pay for exclusives. Plus, it teaches my a new skill.
In the future I’m planning to also start to produce for other artists, create a new album and develop the “Big Thoughts brand” more. As well as getting into selling instrumentals online.
My mission
My mission is to show people that disability doesn’t stop me from doing what I love. And that if I can follow my dreams through all the obstacles I faced so can you! I’m a believer of the fact that, you should always have dreams to fight for and… Life is to short to only be doing the necessary things.
Of course, you’ll never know if you “completely realize your dreams. But if you believe ANYTHING is possible! And that is my mission.